Too Much Information.
I am trying to buy a new car. Despite all the irritating salesmen (most of whos names I can't pronounce nor understand when they say them), I am actually enjoying the process. Buying a new big something is fun and it kind of gets your adrenaline pumping. I'm a fan.
I called my bank today to try to get financing and see what sorts of interest rates they were offering. I get a lady, who I CAN actually understand - which is totally bizarre and completely unheard of - so I am more friendly than usual with this particular customer service representative, we will call her Carol (because that's her name). So maybe this can be blamed on me...but I doubt it.
After a few minutes of explaining my situation, i.e. I want a loan for a new car, etc, etc, she starts to ask me questions. All (okay MOST) of which are valid. What's my address? Houston. Her response is to tell me about the last time she was in Texas there was like tennis ball size hail and it was 100 degrees outside...which means like that up in the sky in must have been like the size of basketball because it was so like hot. First of all, I don't know about the rest of you Texans, but I do not like to have my state dissed. This is the best state ever. She goes on to tell me that she lives in San Diego and the weather is always gorgeous and how she hears how awful it is in Texas and how she wouldn't live here if someone paid her. It just isn't her cup of tea, but obviously it suits you, she says.
A few more questions and then she wants to know my birthday - March 13, 1981. Oh, yayy she says, hers is on the 20th. WOW Carol, we have SO much in common. Did you know that about 1 out of every 12 people you meet has a birthday in the same month as you? Awesome. Like totally awesome. Well, in addition to having her birthday 3 days after St. Patty's day, and getting to drink left over green beer, the St. Pattys Day before her 21st birthday, she got wasted and got a four-leaf clover tattooed on her ankle. Lucky for her, she was like smart enough not to get it on her boob or arm or anywhere where she could get like fat and saggy. She's a smart cookie, that Carol.
But obviously not as smart as her oldest sister (she has 2 older siblings), who graduated from University of Texas (see, it IS the best state EVER) in 2002 with a civil engineering degree. Oh my gosh, we STILL have so much in common!! Oldest sister now works in Dallas for a large surveying company, (name unknown by Carol) doing the exact same thing as me (she seems to know exactly what I do, despite the fact that I have given her no details other than the fact that I work for a chemical company). Oldest sister decided to leave California to get away from her parents. Carol doesn't know why, she like LOVES her parents...but that's probably because the last child has more freedom. Parents like put like all the boundaries on the oldest and then the youngest get to like run around and do whatever. Carol would like totally move back home now. Awesome.
In addition to the fact that Carol is apparently from The Valley and thinks that we are BFF, she wanted to know all about my wedding plans and Tommy and why I am buying the car I am buying and if we were saving for a house and if so, were we going to buy in Texas? 'Cause really, Texas sucks.
Really, Carol, I just want to know what sort of interest rate I can get if I finance my car through your bank. I don't need to know the date of your last period or mother's maiden name. What's the interest rate? C'mon sister, like, what's it gonna be?
This child fashioned a skirt out of his poncho. I would say that the odds of him turning out to be straight at slim.
IHGB #342: The Tortured Poets Department
3 days ago
